So… I know I’ve been gone a while
I’ve been apartment hunting in Brooklyn/Manhattan.
I live in a small, yet usually busy city in southern Louisiana. Yep. Louisiana. Talk about a culture shock, going from Louisiana to New York City. I know, I’ve thought a lot about it. And I’ve read many articles about how hard it is to make it
But, I think I’m ready.
Besides… the last time I visited Manhattan, I lost 15 pounds from walking SO MUCH.
It was fantastic.
I’m back
and I had a blast, but I was thinking…
If I threw out everything I have that I think makes me look good, would that push me to make the unflattering things I own flattering by altering my body?
I don’t know.
Just an idea
I leaving for the beach in 2 days
and I’m not exactly happy with myself. I planned on losing way more for this trip. Then again, I always plan on losing more and more. But I won’t justify it.
Anyway, I’m sure I won’t eat anything while I’m there. Why spend money on something that will only make me feel shitty about myself when I could spend it on clothes or souvenirs? I wouln’t. =]
I am so ready to get out of here.
Of course he is falling in love again
it’s what people do.
we were only engaged, we never made the leap.
and no, I wasn’t happy, but who the fuck is?
I hate you.
You and katie.
fuck you both.
I just ate my last meal for the next 72+ hours
72 hours is bare minimum.
June 11th:
- Work until 7pm
- Pay car note?
- Return redbox movie
- Start brainstorming suitcase project.
- Drink lots of water.
- Hobby Lobby?
- If time, ride bicycle.
- Get sleep
- Save money/Make budget
- Clean room
- Make a bracelet
Wish me luck.
There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting.
—
John Kenneth Galbraith
I knew I shouldn’t drink…
But I did. And the same thing that always happens, happened.
Alcohol is never a good idea when you’re trying to achieve something so intertwined with your self control. I woke up this morning with a hangover and an empty taco bell bag between my friend and I’s head. Fantastic.
My trip is 2 weeks away. I refuse to let myself get anything but thinner until then.
I’m so very disappointed.
So this is the first weekend in months that I haven’t worked. It was nice to sleep in this morning. In fact, I slept until almost 4!
I guess I can use that to my advantage. Now it is almost 6, and I’m nowhere close to hungry. Not that I ever am…
I love the city in the spring. If I stay inside for too long, I start to get a little cranky. I think I’m going to go ride my bike. <3
Sometimes, living a life dedicated to annorexia can be lonely. Most of the time I am able to distract myself with plenty of different projects, but every so often, just want to talk to friends and relate. I will never relate.
They always want to go “out to eat”, but I would never put myself in that situation. It’s kind of ironic, because when I WAS eating, I was waiting by the phone constantly for a friend to call. Not because I wanted to eat, but because I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I am much happier with myself no though. I have something that they don’t. OODLES of self control, and I’m proud.
Interesting fact: You lose about 77 calories per hour while you’re sleeping.
hm, if you sleep for 100 hours, you can lose 2 pounds!
